High school the Akatsuki Way
by Minimum Ride
Summary: Your typical akatsuki in high school, my first fanfic deideraXocXsasori and other pairings.yay fanfiction first person to review gets a virtual cookie and there is some language you know because of Hidan and what not.so please review gets on knees please.
1. Enter Anzu

This is my first story so read and review or I'll sick Zetsu on you (that rymed yay bonus points)

(Zetsu is foaming at the mouth and clawing in the direction of the viewers )

"hurry he can only be stopped by reviews he has an insatiable thirst for them" me

"this is whipped cream un " (deidera pointing at foam)

(hits over the head with a pan )

"do think he'll be ok "white zetsu

(nudges with foot) "naahh HE'll BE FINE" black zetsu

(WAVES GOODBYE ) "bye, review and you get Itachi"

(itachi screams in other room)

me "ignore that bye now"

* * *

"Get up" my mother chanted in her annoying prep voice ,

"fwwck owwf" I grumbled my voice muffled by my pikachu plushie.

At this my mother leaned down to whisper (in a very demonic way which had me on the verge of soiling myself).

"Get up or I'll get the water don't think I won't , its your first day of high school get up and break some hearts" she added in a more cheerful tone .

As any sane would do (or insane person in this case ) I bolted out of bed only to fall flat on the cold unkind floor.

I pivoted around in an attempt to detangle myself from my multitude of blankets.

About to add a witty comment about my dead cat like reflexes.

I instead glanced at my death note alarm clock .

Here's a peak of what thought flashed and repeated in my head at that very second "$$$******ITT" and that's the censored version .

Frantically kicking the covers off like a rabbit on speed, I dashed for the bathroom my bare feet slapping against the tile floor and as I am a naturally graceful person (note heavy sarcasm )

I delicately face planted onto the even friendlier tile floor because I'm just special like that .

I quickly recovered and did a power slide to the to the shower (I'm so smooth ;)

"shower time don don don don don don don I feel good" I sang as I lathered shampoo in my scalp.

Yeah we can skip the rest of the details of the shower .

* * *

Towel drying my hair I leaped out of the bathroom.

I noticed the clothes that casper the not so fashionable ghost? (my mom) had laid out on the bed , complete with matching underwear.

I then proceeded to curse casper in seven different languages .

On the bed of horrors lay a black and white diamond pattern tank top and next to it was a denim pleated skirt.

Did she want me to flash the school, that's probably what she meant by break some hearts curse you she-devil (shakes fist at sky).

Don't panic I can fix this some rude badges, black lace up boot thingie converse and ta da , I looked in the mirror.

"damn girl you look fiiiiiiiine" (sometimes I wonder how my ego fits in my room).

I tousled my strawberry-blond hair and ran a brush through my side fringe swept it to the right .

My hair went down to the start of my chest.

I hated my hair its so thick buns are imposable, ggahh god hates me.

I'm not super skinny and I'm not curvy I have pale clear skin medium lips and I'm a c cup I have big cornflower blue eyes framed by thick brown lashes.

My heart shaped face and my baby blue's have gotten me out of so much trouble that and I have perfected the puppy dog look.

I ran down the stairs grabbed an apple and school bag , and bounded to the bus stop but as I ran I heard my mom call " Anzu you better be wearing the underwear I picked out".

This on top of high school I don't think I can handle this (mental sigh).

I skid to a halt at the bus stop spraying dirt all over some guy/girl .

I bring my hands down in an X motion and declare "SAFE" breathlessly.

I look up to see some blond guy/girl looking pissed if looks could kill I would be in a pool of my own blood by now.

"yo" a gave him ( I'm guessing here?) a two finger salute.

So of course he flips his lid.

"do you know who I am" he spits.

I stare at him blankly and reply "A she-male" god I love pissing' people off .

"WHAT!!!" he screeches.

I pick that exact moment to give him my Cheshire cat grin.

Next some guy with crimson red hair and chestnut eyes puts a hand on the blue eyed wonders shoulder.

While chuckling he meets my eyes and extends a pale porcelain hand "I'm Sasori" he states.

I just stare at his hand untill he lets it drop.

( my thoughts on this O-O ,)

He nudges the blue eyed wonder and says "and this hygiene lacking idiot is Deidera"

"I don't lack hygiene this bitch covered me in dirt" he emphases this by point an accusing finger at me I had to cross my eyes to see it in focus.

He's kinda hot , are you kidding me they're both smokin' WHAT!!! hold the phone I'm not a fan girl no way no how( damn traitorous hormones be gone.)

I focus on the noise I'm hearing my eyes hone in on the fingers snapping merrily in front of my face.

Deidera's face is inches from mine I blink rapidly, he so close my eye lashes brush his, fluttering like butterfly wings.

He pulls back "welcome back to planet earth" he proclaimed.

I open my mouth to speak but he cuts me off "I know its hard not to get lost in my charm and good-looks…."

"actually I was wondering if you two were a couple , I mean its already obvious who the girl is in your relationship" I flicked his nose and skipped onto the bus which had magically appeared , leaving the two teens gaping after me like fish.

I think I might like this school after all.

* * *

FINALLY DONE (slams head into key bored ouch)ME

"she out for the count lets draw on her face un "Deidera (waves bye ) and proceeds to draw on the authors face.

"reviews"Zetsu (cries pitifully)

"I'M STARVING SO REVIEW" Zetsu

''REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (Zetsu)


	2. Friends and Enemies

A/N OMJ (oh my jashin) I got like two reviews and I shamefully did a happy dance in my kitchen (hangs head in shame) I'm so weird aww well I don't care ( strike's nice guy pose) Anyway thank you "Dreaded red-head sand ninja" your awesome and Raya Unagi is so gonna be in it and be Tobi's bestest bud and torment Sasuke And Itachi especially Sas-GAY and also thanks "Yuti-chan" for being my first reviewer bye keep on reviewing people ,peace out home dog later.

* * *

I stood hands on my hips mentally preparing for high school .

_Shit _I thought _I'm as ready as I'm going to get _.

With that I begun to steadily walk down the sterile corridor.

Suddenly i tripped and gravity became my enemy _why gravity I thought we had an agreement no more falling. I knew I would flash people if I wore a skirt curse you mom.  
_

This was all as I was falling to my doom.

I would probably be trampled and skewered by six inch heels in the crowded halls,

_what a nice way to go _I thought sarcastically.

As this was all happening I didn't notice the floor was no longer get closer and not until my face collided with a toned chest that I looked up and deep hazel eyes were staring into mine looking amused, (due to my oblivious nature aka being a lazy dobe I failed to notice the entire student body stopping and staring at us cause I'm just special like that) my blue eyes widened in realization "YOUR THAT GAY GUYS BOYFRIEND" I blurted while pointing if people weren't staring before they were doing it now _it's official__ god hates me _I thought.

Sasori shook his head making his hair go swish and was also making every girl in a ten mile radius have a nose bleed.

"Deidera was right you don't have a clue who we are" he stated.

"sooo your not denying it" I drawled "Dei-dei-chan will be so happy" I added, I just don't know when to shut up.

His brows furrowed he opened his mouth to reply when, I was tackled into a vice hug

" Tobi things new girl is pretty, can Tobi call you pretty-chan~"

Tobi sang while my face began to turn corpse blue

"TOBI LET HER GO UN" the blue eyed wonder yelled flipping his blond hair back looking oh so feminine

He's prettier than me maybe he should be called pretty-chan.

"Sure Tobi but only if I can call you lollipop-man" I coughed

"pfftt" Deidera snorted

"zip it she-male I wasn't talking to you" I snapped (mistake number one)

Deidera was dangerously near boiling point and was about to retort when a hand clapped him on the back with way to much force causing him to fall over.

I naturally laughed my ass off with the shirtless mysterious stranger (mistake number two) WAIT!!!! SHIRTLESS!!!!!!.

I looked him over once again yep no shirt just jeans,sneakers (perfect for sneaking) and some silver pendant thing, that's it Oh natur-al (apart from the things I just listed).

He had slicked back silver hair,a body to die for( mmm six pack) and pale pink eyes with an inner fire to them (I know deep down I should write morbid emo poetry)

When we finished wiping the tears from our eyes.

I turned to him and said "do they really let you walk around half naked all the time"

"does it bother you" he replied flirtatiously looking at me through his silvery lashes

"no I rather like the view" I muttered nonchalantly (mistake number three),

I wasn't flirting honest it just slipped out.

"Is that so" he exclaimed snaking an arm around my slender waist.

I smiled sweetly up at him and enunciated my next sentence carefully "get your hand off me before I shove it up your ass."

And all this time we had totally been ignoring Deidera and that my friends was the biggest mistake one can make when around him.

Remember when we talked about boiling points well he reached his and then Deidera exploded (no pun intended)

"ARE YOU TWO DONE IN YOUR OWN PRIVATE WORLD UN" roared turning sharply to Mr pink eyes and screamed

"AND YOU CAN YOU KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS FOR FIVE FUCKING MINUTES UN" I raised my hand cautiously

"what" Deidera snapped glaring angrily at me

"can I go now" I muttered.

"what class do you have first" Sasori inquired.

"umm……." I said

"I'm not sure" I rummaged in my bag and whipped out my schedule.

"first I have home room which starts at …….." I glanced at my watch.

"five minutes ago, oh snap crackle and pop, bye losers" I waved.

* * *

Deidera's P.O.V (point of view)

* * *

She waved goodbye her strawberry blond hair fanned out behind her.

Why did she have to leave.

Now I'll get the thirty degree from Hidan, stupid man whore with half naked tendencies.

"Can we go to home room now" I sighed

"why the fuck would we go we're fucking Akatsuki bitch, we don't need to go we can be as fucking late as we want to fucking be jashin damn it ?" Hidan snarled

"For once I agree with Deidera" Sasori cut in

"it would be nice to go to class for a change" he added

"whatever bastards" Hidan sighed in defeat.

We begun our migration to home room with Kakashi-sensei.

* * *

Anzu's P.O.V

* * *

I arrived in home room with the I'm new I got lost excuse at the ready.

I skidded in and looked up to apologize, no one was at the teachers desk I looked around students we sitting in groups and talking to one another.

My jaw dropped.

I ran half-way across the school for this fuck-tard to be late.

I looked around the room unsure of were to sit because they had all gone to elementary together and I knew no one cause I just moved here ahh sucks to be a newbie.

My search halted in it's tracks when a red-haired girl shouted loudly "SO YOUR MOTHER WAS A SHARK" she was pointing at a boy with pale blue skin _weirdo_ I thought_ and my kind of people._

I strolled over hands in my hoodie pockets.

I sat beside her, she whirled around to me "don't you think his mother was a shark" her big brown eyes begged me to say yes and I'm a sucker for the puppy dog look "yeah I see what you mean I agree he does look like a shark" he narrowed his beady golden eyes at me from behind her head, I shrugged at his glare "what you do……" "Kisame" the red-head helpfully supplied "I'm Raya Unagi" she cheerfully announced "Kisame, Kisame Hoshgaki" blue man mumbled.

"let me guess, you like it shaken not stirred" I laughed while Raya was bordering on hysterical her unusually pale skin was flushed from laughter.

We weakly high-fived each other clutching our stomach's.

"I'm Anzu" I said between laughs.

Kisame left after the first two minutes of laughing at him and his attempt to be cool.

In a huff he stomped away like a two year old and we only laughed louder .

The door slammed open and stomped in Deidera and his crew.

"Is it his time of month or something" I stated loud enough for entire class to hear including him.

His head snapped up shit he's mad I thought.

The class gave me it-was-good-knowing-you looks mixed with shocked ones apart from Raya who was rolling around on the floor laughing her ass off.

There was a puff of smoke a guy wearing a medical mask and had cool spiked up silver hair appeared.

"yo" he waved "sorry I got lost on the path of life" he smiled.

Then some blond kid in the back shouted "LIE'S".

Deidera was still giving me the evils as he sat down.

This was gonna be a looonngg ass year.

* * *

SOOOO how did you like the second chapter please review and "Dreaded red-head sand ninja" did I write you ok I can change it if you don't like it and do you wanna be paired with anyone bye guys and remember REVIEW and you get a virtual cookie. BYE**  
**


	3. Mental Scaring and Duck hair that Quacks

Disclaimer: if i did own naruto which i don't i wouldn't be writing a fanfiction i'd be in my bedroom with the akatsuki (playing monopoly Kakuzu can't be banker i called it)

A/N I would just like to say I** LOVE** Kisame he's so awesome and cool ect. And it was only playful insults I mean do you honestly thing I wouldn't make fun of Deidera for looking like a girl pfft fuck no. But besides that the "SammywithSwagger" LIKED MY STORY (*on cloud nine*) if you have not read her story Siren of the mist get off my page and onto hers read my pretties read (opens window) and in fact I'm going there to, to see if she updated and a little shout out to "Ifrits Aeon" thank you I will fix that pinky promise and YOUR WAAAAAYYY FUNNIER THAN ME and don't get hit by a car I wanna read the end of your story.

"You do realize that you shamelessly advertised another authors story un" Deidera

"your just jealous your not the main character in it" Kisame

"so what why would I be Jealous of you fish sticks"D

"WHAT WAS THAT SHE-MALE!!!!" K

"whats wrong shark boy lava girl dump you" D

(KISAME BURSTS INTO TEARS)

" that went to far, ITS OK"author

"yeah that was harsh" sasori

"what its not my fault he's so sensetive" D

"YOU WILL BE PUNISHED" A

"NO CLAY FOR A MONTH"A

"WHAT BUT ..." D

"NO BUTS NO GO TO YOUR ROOM" A

(kisame smirk evilly at Deidera and mouths *they love me more*)

"REVIEW" EVERYONE (waves)

* * *

We did absolutely noting in home room, Kakashi-sensei just sat there and read his perverted book while we all talked.

The bell rang and I quickly dived for the door so I could avoid the wrath of Deidera's menstruation cycle oh joy of joys.

_I hope Sasori doesn't knock him up (tut tut teenage pregnancy). _

I then contented myself with images of a pregnant Deidera_._

I laughed to myself and earned looks from passers by.

What every normal teenage girl thinks about a guy knocking up another guy don't they?

I gazed at my schedule I have heath next just great.

Somebody ran into (me that been happening a lot lately) and that somebody had red hair(how ironic).

"Raya-chan~" I sang extending my arm as though I was serenading her,

"Anzu-chan~" she repeated my name in different keys as if she was a one person barber shop quartet.

"people are staring" I staged whispered

"so lets act insane" she finished

Raya looked at her watch.

"were gonna be late for HEATH" she screamed.

We changed our tune to "were off to see our teacher the wonderful teacher of heath"

We looped our arms and skipped to class.

We knocked on the door and walked in.

A man with gray spiky hair and red tattoo's running from his eyes like crimson tears opened it _he looks kinda cool_.

"I'm the legendary stud JIRAYA" he roared striking some weird pose.

_or not so cool._

"you two beautiful girls can sit up the front, uglies move to the back that means you Naruto" our sensei called to the loud blond kid up the front.

(the one that screamed lies at Kakashi-sensei if you don't know what I'm talking about check the previous chapter)

"STOP HARASSING THESE GIRLS PERVY SAGE OR I'LL TELL GRANDMA TSUNADE" Blondie roared.

_he's going to pop a blood vessel and why is he going to tell his grandma?_

While I pondered this and Jiraya-sensei and Naruto-san fought it out.

I was towed to the seat next to the boy next to Naruto he had duck-butt hair I noted.

I wanted to touch it to see if it quacks.

So when he wasn't looking I grabbed it, he swiftly turned around making what I would interpret as a quacking noise so obviously I retracted my hand out of his inky black locks just in time and looked the other direction and think about the duck living in his hair an if I could I have some of his eggs.

He narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously. I began to whistle my innocent kid whistle of course this only made his onyx eyes slits drat! He was even more suspicious now.

A hand clapped my shoulder a blue hand (_I still can't get over the fact he's blue its so cool *squeals*) omj did I just mentally squeal I think its all this shouting making my brain malfunction, yeah that's it the shouting._

"I don't think that you want a good view of anything in this class if what Itachi told me is true" Kisame whispered "and I don't think he would appreciate you harassing his little brother" he scolded.

"sorry mom" Raya appeared.

_She has to teach me how to do that._

"who's Itachi and I can harass who ever I like" I declared proudly with my hands on my hips.

"you tell him girl" Raya cut in speaking in a ghetto voice clicking her pale fingers in a Z formation.

I face palmed _why am I friends with that again._

_ "_because you love me" Raya said.

I jumped like seven ft. in the air "can you read minds" I cried.

"no…" Kisame answered "you said that out loud"

_It's the first day and I'm losing it._

"no your not" Kisame cooed while rubbing soothing circles in my back.

" oh my jashin Kisame can read minds, he's superman" I exclaimed

"NO HE'S MORE OF AN AQUA-MAN" Raya shouted

"get it aqua-man" she said laughing at her own joke.

Me and Kisame gave her blank looks.

I pause then slapped her upside the head "BAKA" I scolded

"WHY MOMMY. STOP DADDY FROM HITTING ME" she screeched

I hit her again for good measure.

"OUCHIES" she wailed.

"shut up" I hissed .

"why I am I the mom" Kisame questioned pointing at his chest.

"cause you and Anzu get it OONN" said acting like Marvin Gaye complete with voice.(he sings that song lets get it on).  
I stayed calm and schooled my face.  
Unlike Kisame who when purple immediately and started spluttering nonsense.  
_ Pppttt boys_. I thought.  
"at least I'm not a cradle snatcher" I commented nonchalantly.  
"what?" she questioned.  
"In home room every second word out of your mouth was Tobi" I shrugged and cotinued.  
"even though I insisted we talk about something else he kept popping up" I added

"I-I d-o-o-n't-t l-lik-k-e h-hi-m-m l-li-ke t-t-t-ha-t-t" she stuttered.

Kisame and I rolled our eyes "DDEENNIIIAALL" we sang.  
"you know Tobi is a year older than us" Kisame said.  
"yeah I guessed as much" I said.  
"then why did you call her a cradle snatcher"he cut in.  
"oh to see how fast she turned red and to confirm my suspicions" I stated.  
Kisame looked impressed Raya on the other hand……..

"you baka you're so...." she was cut off sharply by Jiraya-sensei, who whacked Naruto over the head with our thick medical book.  
(filled with detailed diagrams *pervert*) .  
"OK on with the class" he declared rubbing his hands together.

(like a malicious pervert *twirls imaginary beard and rubs hands together in perverse style*).  
Damn he's probably mentally undressing the front row ewww, thank kami Kisame called us to the back or else I would be mentally planning a lawsuit.  
"ok since it's the start of the year I think we should start off with something easy … a video on child birth" he did jazz hands and expected everyone to praise his genius all he got was crickets some kid with heavy breathing and tumble weeds.

And that is how the most traumatic class of my life started. I'd rather not go into detail as the images are still fresh in my mind and not even I am that cruel to put those images into another persons head.  
Its safe to say I'm becoming a nun and **NEVER** having children I'm adopting a nice little Chinese girl. that's it I will never touch a boy again.

* * *

A/N review and thank you loyal reviewers I love you all (*extends arms to the furthest nether reaches of the world*)

"she been so happy lately un" dei-dei-chan.

"she's scary when she's like this" sasori-chan

"i know she didn't even hit me or lock me in a room full of fan-girls when we drew on her face un" dei-dei-chan

"review or i'll make you a puppet" sasori-chan un

"and not the cool kind un the toilet scrubbing kind" dei-dei-chan


	4. Judas and Wrinkles

I really liked this chapter so no conversations today just business (naked lab coat day tommorrow remember people nothing on under those lab coats) enjoy the chapter and review.

* * *

We squeezed out of the door so eager to be out of heath the half of the class dog-piled outside into the busy hallways.

And guess what lucky smuck who was at the bottom you ask.

If you guessed yours truly than ding ding ding we have a winner, and your prize is a whole big fat bucket of nothing.

Just for laughs guess who's fat ass was smothering me.

If you thought the biggest, tallest, bluest person in the class you are indeed correct….. Again.

( your good at this you must teach me you secrets and we can rule the freaking world!!!!!)(sorry Dr. Evil moment there).

So after everyone else pealed them self's off the floor I was still recovering. I could distantly feel someone shaking me so I opened my eyes, to see big blue eyes looking into mine.

"Naruto get out of her face!!!!!!" some girl shouted.

"" I screamed, I shot upright and bashed my head against his.

"ow ow ow" I whimpered cradling my head in my hands.

"I'm so sorry. I'll buy you ramen as an apology, come on" Naruto said frantically grabbing my hand and pulled me onto his back.

(yay piggy backs).

"to the cafeteria" I declared pointing in a random direction.

"hi ho silver away" I added.

When we reached the cafeteria we were laughing our asses off.

People were whispering and getting an eye full of me and Naruto.

He plopped me down on a seat next to him.

"that was fun" I commented .

"yeah, I'm Naruto Uzumaki" he said breathlessly.

"and I'm Anzu" I announced.

Naruto turned around and looked behind him, he stopped and stared at something.

I was curious so I sneaked a peek around him and followed his line of sight, to find Deidera and Sasori glaring at him across the room.

That pissed me off.

I just made a friend and they we're scaring him away.

I stood up stiffly and marched towards the table that they were at with Naruto at my heels.

When I reached my destination they stood up still glaring at Naruto who was behind me.

"Cut it out" I snapped.

Their attention was reluctantly dragged from glaring at Naruto to me.

"what is your problem," I said looking at Deidera.

"what crawled up your ass, not counting Sasori" I added.

"And you" I said whirling around to Sasori "what did he ever do to you, so take" I gabbed my finger into his chest "your glaring and shove it up Deidera's ass since your so fond of putting things there".

"if your quite finished" Sasori started.

I gave him an angry nod.

" our problem is freaks like him" Deidera said pointing at Naruto.

"oh didn't he tell you he's a mental case just got out of the loony bin he's on meds and all" Deidera finished.

Naruto hung his head. A sight I couldn't bear to see his face was made for smiles I tell ya.

"so" I shrugged " I still like him anyway and he's my friend so if you have a problem with him then you have a problem with me too" I huffed.

Stomping away I noticed that Naruto was still standing there in a daze.

I turned around and grabbed his hand to lead away just as Deidera decided to shove him in the back.

Wolf whistle's echoed in the hall the main source was Raya who had just arrived.

My eye's widened in shock me and Naruto were kissing god damn lip lock on day one in high school, shit and the worst thing was we were both to shocked to move prolonging our own agony.

Until Sasori grabbed him by the collar and dumped him on the floor his chest heaving he growled "Get off her".

I had to say something it was getting awkward "you taste like ramen"

Mentaly face palming now it was more awkward.

Naruto turned to me "you taste like strawberries" or not so awkward.

"uh……. thanks" I said uncertainly.

"lets sit with the others" he chirped.

" Ok" I said with more confidence.

We skipped away leaving the troublesome twosome with their jaws hanging on their hinges once again.

* * *

"hey guys" Naruto waved.

We sat down and Raya pushed our ramen under our noses.

"I thought you would appreciate this after your ordeal" she smiled.

"uh huh" we nodded simultaneously, then inhaling our ramen.

"its scary how a like they are" some girl with pink hair muttered.

I stared at her with my who-are-you face on.

"I'm Sakura Haruno and you have a noodle on your lip" she said.

I licked my lips like a cat "thanks" I purred.

I was now in a super good mood, food and warmth do these things to me.

I gave her a lazy smile and patted my tummy absentmindedly.

"I'm Anzu" I purred like a happy cat in the sun.

"hey Sakura" Naruto chirped.

"Yeah" Sakura replied.

"did you see Anzu she totally dissed the Akatsuki for me it was awesome" he bragged.

"what are the Akatsuki some boy band" I cut in.

"you don't know who the Akatsuki are" asked Sakura in disbelief.

I shook my head "explain" I pleaded.

"oh where do I begin uh they are the most popular, coveted, wealthy boys in this school" she said.

"oh well if that's all" I said sarcastically .

She ignored my sarcasm "it's not, they pay for this school hell their families practically own it and they have their own private changing rooms, lunch table, lunch menu, lounge and library it's all of course better than ours that and they virtually have no rules" she finished.

"well fuck" I said "that sucks" I added.

"tell me about it" she said "and you pissed them off, it was nice knowing you" she added and taking a swing of her drink.

"fuck" I whispered.

There was no other way to phrase it that would be more fitting.

Just then Kisame walked in I was just about to wave him over to our table when him, Hidan and a bunch of guys I don't know + one girl walked over to the enemies table and sat down.

And since then I hadn't had and outburst in about oh lets say…. five minutes I think it's time for another.

My body decided this betrayal was unacceptable and before I had time to think up a speech I was towering over Kisame (who was sitting down).

"Judas" I said pointing at him.

"WHAT" he exclaimed looking up at me.

"Judas" I repeated.

"what are you talking about" he questioned.

"fraternising with the enemy shame on you" I accused.

"hold the phone, who's "the enemy" he asked pryingly using air quotations around the word _enemy_.

"I think that would be us un" the blue eyed wonder commented.

"come on Kisame" I said grabbing his arm.

Only to be yanked back.

Kisame hadn't pulled me back the boy holding onto his other arm had.

" Itachi" Kisame said in surprise.

" unhand Kisame" he said stoically glaring at me.

I pulled his arm harder pulling him towards my direction.

"no way pretty boy" I snarled narrowing my eyes at him.

"let go you ruffian" he snapped.

"dude did you just say ruffian" Kisame said, we both ignored him.

"let go you freak with pink eye, ever heard of anti-wrinkle cream" I retorted.

He gasped and his hand flew to his face " I don't have wrinkle's do I" everyone at the table nodded grimly.

(A/N got ya that would never happen. only in my crazy , a girl can dream can't she. oh and it was only the previous two lines that were fake)

Hidan and the troublesome twosome burst into laughter the rest of the table smiled/smirked.

The bell rang and I dropped Kisame's arm and looked at Itachi "untill we meet again wrinkle's" and ran to art.

Normal P.O.V

"She's not so bad after all" Deidera gasped between laughs.

"yes I think she would fit in Akatsuki very nicely" Pein said.

Ten pairs of heads turned to the leader.

"WHAT!!!!" they all screamed.

* * *

UH so lazy all I can say is review bye (dosen't bother to wave and falls asleep in a corner)


	5. Paint and Sasori the Dominatrix ?

A/N I hate this chapter it's so crap apart from my new and last OC which gets her intro today *claps like proud soccor mom*. who is actually based on my friend "Itachi's Dark Princess" and we're writing a story together called "Witness Affection Program" I came up with the title and we worked together on the story though she came up with the plot it's mainly her story i'll tell you guys when it's up so read it please.

* * *

My mouth formed an O.

I now remember why I attend this school.

Well two reasons the kendo club but mainly the art facilities it just there were no limits to what I could do woodwork, metalwork, pottery or painting whatever I wanted.

They had marble for jashin's sake I could do sculptures.

My jashin, I'm in love with this room I'm never going to leave I'm chaining myself to the work benches.

I took a deep breath.

" I love the smell of acrylic paint in the morning." I said looping my thumbs in the loops of my skirt and rocking on my toe's like a drill sergeant.

I had to restrain myself from screaming attention!

And narrowly evaded doing so.

The class room was huge, like two gyms merged together huge (yeah that kind)

It had a store room that I could happily call home, a working area and rows of wooden work desks.

The room had a homey feel to, it beaded pillows on the chairs and multicoloured paint splatters of unidentifiable colours on the walls.

I smiled and twirled around like Cinderella at the ball.

Someone cleared their throat behind me.

I quickened my twirling so I could face them.

BIG mistake I tripped over my feet and fell into a pile of wooden puppets, life sized ones, comfortable. (note heavy sarcasm).

I lifted a wooden arm from underneath my butt.

I held the puppets face up to mine studying it.

"cool!!!" I exclaimed.

"thank you" said Sasori, I could tell it was him by his deep rich voice.

"the detail" I rambled standing up.

Deidera walked in and I was singing Sasori's praises.

"seriously your really talented this stuff should be in the louvre its.. Its" I was at a loss for words.

"Amazing" I settled with a sigh.

Leaning against a desk I looked up and smiled, to see Sasori was red in the face.

"hey" I said standing upright.

I walked over and tugged his face down to mine, I place my lips on his forehead and he got redder.

When I pulled back Deidera's mouth was in an angry line, what pissed him off this time?.

**

* * *

Sasori's P.O.V

* * *

**

"why did you just kiss his forehead" Deidera inquired briskly trying to conceal his emotions and failing miserably.

"to check his temperature, didn't anyone ever do that to you when you were a kid?" she answered cocking her head to the side.

Deidera visibly softened at the look, who wouldn't it was just to cute.

"no" he replied softly so only I heard him.

The rest of the class arrived and our teacher Kurenai-sensei begun class.

It was simple enough sketch the person to your left.

I glanced up from my sketch pad to see who my partner was expecting it to be Deidera but in his place was Anzu.

"So……" she drawled.

" I'll go first" she announced when I didn't reply.

She snatched her pencils off the desk and began to draw furiously in her sketch pad only pausing to glance up at me details of my appearance.

She held the sketch pad away from her then placing it on the table she heaved a big sigh and ran a porcelain hand through her strawberry blond tresses that looked copper in the light, her azure orbs twinkled with purpose.

Wrinkling her nose in determination she delicately picked up the sketch pad again and after a few minutes Kurenai-sensei looked over her shoulder and plucked the sketch pad from her tight grasp.

"hey give it back" Anzu exclaimed making a grab for it.

The teacher ignored this and walked to the top of the of the class sketch pad in hand. "this is the best example of artistic genius that have seen I have in a long time" Kurenai-sensei announced holding up the sketch pad like it was Simba someone has been watching too much of the lion king, she held up the picture and the first thought that crossed my mind was _Anzu's is so dead !!!!!!_

**

* * *

Anzu P.O.V

* * *

**

I hid my head in my hands I glanced up to see my picture in all it's glory. my so called masterpiece. (though it was one of my better pieces *puts finger on chin thoughtfully *.) In the picture Sasori is sitting on a large arm chair with his back to an enormous fire place and in his hand was a leash on the end that leash was Deidera who curled up at his feet, dressed in a leather stud collar, and leather everything else,( my eyes so much leather it burns) it was cool in a dominatrix sort of way.

Why the fuck did I draw that again oh yeah cause I'm a fucking idiot and I though I'd just show Sasori and I'd get to laugh when I seen his face.

Deidera's head slowly turned in my direction he faced me and said "you have really sick fantasies un".

"as if I'd have a fantasy with you in it" I retorted on reflex.

"so I'm going to copy it and put it on the school notice board, for every one to see this master piece " Kurenai-sensei declared.

I gaped at her was she serious, she looked serious (aww shit she was serious).

The class broke out into a string of whispers.

"Anzu, be a dear and take this paint to the other store room" she asked.

"yeah" I mumbled sliding off my chair and putting my back-pack on.

As I walked buy she whispered in my ear "it's been a long time since someone uprooted the Akatsuki like this".

" thanks" She added dumping the paint containers in my arms.

"your welcome" I said sarcastically to myself when in the deserted corridor.

This paint was heavy I struggled and shifted the weight off my hip and into my arms cradling it.

A flash of blond zoomed towards me and collided with my chest knocking us both sprawling on the floor paint every where.

I looked up to see the blond girl face down on the floor covered in paint from head to toe her pixie cut hair was spiked up in multicoloured directions.

She groaned and heaved herself onto her knees, kneeling like me, our eyes met and we burst into hysterical fits off laughter.

"y-you- l-ook- r-ridiculous" she squealed.

"says the sugar plum fairy" I joked pointing at her hair.

"I'm Ai" she said extending a hand.

"and I'm Anzu, pleasure to meet ya" I said slapping her hand away.

"put that thing away" I said motioning to her hand.

She looked away sadly retracting her hand.

"we're women we hug" I exclaimed as I glomped her.

"Let's go get cleaned off" she chirped her emerald eyes twinkling with excitement.

"sure" I screamed punching the air.

* * *

While we cleaned our self's up I learned a few interesting things like Ai is captain of the kendo club and a total ditz, aww don't worry I love her secretly far beyond my skin and common sense as my mother would say.(crazy bitch always speaks in riddles).

We had missed most of our classes (score!!!).

So now school was over and don't worry we got permission from the principle Tsunade to miss class.

She was so pleasant about it I believe the word were "_get the hell outta my office your drippin' paint on my floor *hicup**burp*" _did I forget to mention she's a drunk.

Locked out of her head and in charge of a school with phyco's left right and centre real smart that board of education, just precious ain't it.

So now I'm on my way to kendo with Ai-chan and one more thing the paint wouldn't come out of her hair so I have now christened her "sugar plum fairy-chan".

* * *

We walk in the door in our practice clothes.

Naruto opens his mouth to say something pointing at Ai's hair, I snicker, she turns to Naruto and glares at him "not a word" says the captain darkly, causing Naruto to swallow thickly.

"all right" she yelled in her captain oh-so-authoritative voice.

"we have a newbie her today lets find out her rank" she continued.

"Ino-san if you please" she called motioning to the fighting area.

I slipped down my men (it's the mask thing like in fencing)and aimed my shinai(this bamboo sword thingie) at my partner.

"keep it clean Ino" she warned I could tell from her tone she hated the girl and what did she mean keep it clean, have some faith in me.

"can't promise anything" Ino sneered through her mask in her really annoying high pitched voice.

I decided I'm gonna kick her ass teach her a lesson she won't soon forget.

Before we had a chance to start properly she charged.

"kiai!!!!!" I yelled as one was supposed to and met her full on.

* * *

I'M ASHAMED *cries*

"it wasen't that bad un " deidera

"really" me

"no are you kiddin it was shit i was bearly in it un" deidera.

"i promise you will take up most of the next chapter" *crosses black void one might call her heart*

"ok bye everyone un" *waves*


	6. Blackmail Plans and Whack a Weasle

A/N This chapter is dedicated to Kuro Shinen Akuma *shoots confetti*.

She's a really loyal reviewer and she lied about the previous chapter so I wouldn't cry so thank you *akatsuki group hugs Kuro-chan*

So yeah you inspired me to write the next chapter. I hate Ino to *whisper* sorry for all you Ino lovers but Deidera is workin' the hair due, it's so not her thing.

On with the chapter.

* * *

We charged at each other shinai raised.

I aimed for her side only for her to block my attack, I leaped back to place a sweeping blow at her ankles she stumbled but didn't fall.

Drat she swung an uppercut for my jaw it only grazed me and through my mask it hurt like a bitch.

She not all fun and games like I thought she was she was strong but I was fast.

And I chose speed any day, strength is no good if she can't catch me.

I pivoted and circled around and struck her calf before she could react, because we have the least amount of padding on the back of our calves it hurts like a bitch and usually prevents us from moving.

She took her weight of her leg and lost her balance and she hunched on the mat grunting in pain.

I offered her a hand up which she slapped away and I had this strange feeling I was the last person she would hug, call it woman's intuition.

"I don't need you help you ugly whore" she snapped.

"ok enjoy your holiday on the floor cause it doesn't look like anyone else is gonna help you" I shrugged.

I strolled over to sugar plum fairy-chan.

"sooo… what your verdict" I said conversationally.

The rest of the team had looks of blatant surprise on their faces.

I turned to Naruto who had his mouth hanging open "you had no faith in me" I accused pointing at him.

"well you're a total klutz" he reasoned.

" I resent that" I huffed folding my arms and pouting.

"yeah when you were handing Ino here ass you were really graceful" Ai cut in.

"you say that like your surprised" I grumbled.

"so am I on the team enough with the suspense it killing me" I whined.

"yeah your in and I nominate you for our new vice captain" she cheered.

"I second that" Naruto cheered.

I was hiding my face while they we're making up chants about kicking Ino's ass, did I forget to mention she was right there.

Those two haven't got a brain cell between them.

I sighed "ok I'm going home to shower see you guys" I waved leaving the two behind.

* * *

I flung my P.E bag over my shoulder and walked out of the changing rooms.

I seen Itachi walking toward the girls changing rooms "PEEPING TOM!!!" I screamed.

He froze as screams erupted from the changing rooms.

He turned to glare at me.

The door burst open and in the door way stood Ai with a sweeping brush.

"ha!!" yelled in victory because she just whacked Itachi over the head with the brush.

"It's whack a weasel!!!" I yelled whacking him again.

"whack a what?" Ai questioned turning to me.

She looked at the alleged peeping tom.

"oh my god Itachi I'm so sorry" she yelped.

"it's alright" he said calmly rubbing the lump forming on his head she ain't captain for nothing.

They both looked at me giving me the could-you-give-us-some-privacy- look "oh I see I'm not needed you two need your time alone" I said slyly.

They both blushed and looked away.

Awww that was to cute they liked each other.

I start walking down the corridor " remember sugar plum fairy-chan use protection" I called over my shoulder, snickering on my way across school to the exit gates.

I'm just too evil sometimes.

* * *

**Akatsuki Lair (peins basement) normal P.O.V

* * *

**

"so" Pein began "does anyone have any idea's" he questioned.

"you're the leader un" Deidera stated, "and aren't idea's Itachi's thing were is he anyway un" he said looking at his nails.

"he's picking up that girl Pie no is it Ei anyway he's pickin' her up" Kisame informed.

"he's so into her it's sad and she's totally into him" Deidera chirped.

It was times like that when the Akatsuki questioned his gender.

"well she's made it obvious she hates us so it going to have to be blackmail" Sasori interjected ignoring Deidera's camp moment like a good friend.

"Pssstt" Deidera snorted, "you two seemed pretty friendly today" he snarled.

Sasori furrowed his brows .

"I've got an idea cause Tobi is a good boy" Tobi announced waving his hand in the air.

"yes Tobi" Pein asked.

"we could guilt her into going after school to get the picture of sempai and Sasori-no-danna, and one of us could be waiting in the school and take pictures and threaten to give them to Tsunade-samma." Tobi finished.

"t-that's a great idea" Deidera said in shock.

"thats because Tobi is a good boy sempai" Tobi sang.

"yeah so we will put that plan into action tomorrow meeting augured" Pein said "now get out" he jerked his finger towards the door.

"sometimes I think Tobi is an evil mastermind and his happy go lucky nature is just a cover" Kisame said to the remaining members.(Hidan, Deidera, Sasori and Konan)

They looked at each other for a moment and erupted into hysterical laughter.

"never gonna happen un" Deidera commented getting up and walking out of the room.

"yeah the day we find out Tobi's an evil mastermind I'd fucking renounce jashin" Hidan announced as all the members went home.

(A/N if they only knew *shakes head*)

* * *

**MEANWHILE AT ANZU'S **(Anzu's P.O.V)

* * *

I sneezed as I walked down my stairs my mother put dinner on the table.

"you know that means someone is talking about you" she commented.

"yeah great" I answered sarcastically.

"what we havin' for desert" I inquired.

"dango" my mom said.

"yes!!" cheered doing a happy dance shooting my imaginary pistols at the roof. (Like the Texan in the Simpsons)

* * *

**MYSTERIOUS STRANGER P.O.V

* * *

**

Little did she know of the series of unfortunate or fortunate eventsthat were to befall her the next day (*eerie music plays* don don don).

* * *

A/N

Be afraid be very afraid *holdstorch under my chin*

MMMMWWWWWWWAAAHHHAAHHAAHAHA!!!!!.

"that wasn't scary at all un" Deidera.

"do you want me to get scary" me

"n-no" Deidera *pee's his pants*

"that's what I thought" me

Kisame tell them to review, me

"sure" Kisame.

"please review" waves to readers.

"bye" everyone.


	7. Pablo and Blueprints

**A/N** I hope you like this chapter and just so you now I released a new story called "Opposite's Attract" it's an Itachi/sakura non-masacare fic it got 4 reviews in the first hour i'm so happy and I would just like to mention I'm gonna regulate my updates so i'll update every weekend untill my summer exam but when summer comes i'll make it up to you *wink* ok so review.

Oh and I almost please if you like Maximum Ride then read my cousins story it's in my favorites it's called "Fang: My Sucky Life" IT REALLY GOOD AND SHE'S FUNNIER THAN ME NO ONE HAS REVIEW AND SHE'S THINKING OF QUITING. so please please please review her story it would mean the world to her and me.

* * *

The next morning on my way to maths with Azuma-sensei.

Raya walked along beside me, we grumbled our hello's and nothing fucking good bout this morning ('s).

When we reached maths we flopped into our desks.

I slammed my head into the table with a thud, soon Raya followed.

We were early for once in our lives and it was killing us.

I don't officially wake up until twelve o'clock unless you dump cold water on me, and if you do that I will pay a Mexican bus driver to run you over and trap you under the bus while driving through a desert filled with cacti (cactuses) *ouch prickly* oh and his name is Pablo and he shows no mercy*mmwwwaaaaahhhhaaaahhhhhaaahhh*.

"good morning" chirped Kisame standing over us, who was joined by Hidan and Kakuzu who tiered me from my thoughts of how I only pay Pablo monopoly money, considering he doesn't do his job, he's doing alright.

*sigh* It's so hard to find good help these days.

Raya and I looked up rubbing our eyes with dreamy expressions our faces.

"That was sooo cute" Kisame stressed.

"It was pretty fucking cute" Hidan added.

"What's pretty fucking cute" Deidera asked peering over their shoulders.

He looked at me still rubbing my eyes as I let out a high pitched yawn.

"I have to say that was cute" Kakuzu mumbled.

"Stop calling' me cute or I'll set Pablo on you" I threatened weakly I didn't even have the energy to shake my fist.

They share confused looks and everyone shrugged it off as me catching Raya-disease (being a loony), but not Deidera as per usual he had to ask.

"Who's Pablo yeah?" he questioned cocking his head to the side, he looked so kawaii I just wanted to wrap him up in a recycling bag and take him home.

"Your so cute Deidera" I murmured sleepily lying my head onto my pencil case (it's a sheep his name is Marvin I shall call him sheepy and he shall be my sheepy).

Turns out Deidera heard the cute comment and was blushing vividly.

"Who's Pablo yeah?" he questioned more softly.

"He's my Mexican bus driving henchman silly he hides the bodies" I stage whispered the last part cupping my hand around my mouth and said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world waving it off.

Raya was unnaturally silent.

I turned my head to see her asleep with drool pooling on the table but I was too tired to care, meh she'd do the same to me.

"It's Marvin you should be worried about" I slurred.

"Who's Marvin un" Deidera exclaimed as he through his hands in the air in exasperation.

Kisame put a comforting hand on his shoulders "we're all safer not knowing" he said shaking his head.

"b-bu-ut" he stammered.

"Just fucking let it go" Hidan whined.

The door clicked open and Azuma-sensei walked in everyone stood up as he entered the room while I and Raya were napping on our desks.

Noticing this Azuma-sensei walks over to our desks and drops and arm full of calculus books on steroid's on our desks with a bang.

Raya jolted upwards screaming "I'M AWAKE" with a trail of saliva leading from her mouth to her desk *eww*.

I on the other hand was sleeping soundly snuggling with Marvin.

He cocked and eyebrow at my reaction or lack of therefore, he walked up to my desk and none to gently shook my shoulder.

I was now awake but giving no indication of being so.

"I know you're awake" Azuma whispered.

"How?" I questioned lifting my head.

"I had a student like you once he is the laziest person I know" he said.

"Thanks" I retorted sarcastically.

He went on as if I hadn't spoken.

"He was also the smartest person I have ever met" he finished.

"Oh" I said in a small voice was that a complement or an insult I'm confuzzled (confused I can spell I just choose not to).

He walked back up to the top of the class and begun to teach us about quadratic trinomials.

The rest of class passed in a blur of numbers and sleepiness.

* * *

The bell rang signalling the end of class.

I swiped my books off my desk and chucked them into my bag.

I stood up and fixed my pack onto my back, turning my head in the direction of the door but all I could see was orange.

"Aaahhhh" I yelled falling to the ground I noticed it was Tobi who had scared the bejebus (sp.) out of me.

" Tobi's a bad boy" I snarled from the ground pissed that I fell over.

"NNNNNOOOOOOO" he hollered clutching his head causing people to stare.

Helplessly I tried to calm him down he put his head in my lap and I patted his back awkwardly "ok shhhh Tobi is a good boy" I cooed.

"R-re-e-a-al-ly *hiccup*" he whimpered hopefully.

"Yes now stop crying" I said in a hushed tone.

"Pretty-Chan thinks Tobi is a good boy, Tobi is so happy" he cheered dragging me to gym with Gai-sensei, wait how did he know I had gym?

We went to our separate changing rooms and…. Well got changed you dolt.

* * *

The school didn't have a uniform but it had one for P.E.

I skipped out of the changing rooms I actually liked the P.E uniform it was azure blue shorts with a white tank top with the school crest on it (which looked like an upside down snail) and white and blue tube socks that went up to your knee's and of course practical shoes of your choice me I was wearing my navy converse.

I jogged out and was tackled from behind by Tobi who holding me from behind by the waist.

"Get off" I snapped blushing furiously.

I pushed him off and he looked up at me from the ground he rubbed the back of neck sheepishly "Sorry Anzu-Chan" he said.

"All right get up I want to be late" I pleaded.

"Ok Pretty-Chan" he giggled as he got up.

We began to walk over to the gym area and Tobi was quiet the whole way eventually I asked him "are you ok Tobi I'm not annoyed or anything" I comforted.

"No it's not that, it's just that Deidera-sempai and Sasori-kun are sad because of Anzu-chan's picture their really embarrassed and that make's Tobi sad to" he explained.

"and Tobi was going to take it back and give it to Anzu-chan but Tobi's puppy is sick" he finished.

I felt like a really bad person I didn't mean to upset anyone and Tobi was trying his best to fix my mess and his poor puppy (even though I'm a cat person).

"Say Tobi were is the picture?" I asked.

"yyyyaaaaaayyyyy Anzu-chan you're the best" Tobi yelled excitedly hugging me and twirling around in the air.

"hey I never said I'll do it ok just if I happen to look for it tonight were will I find it?" I questioned.

"you'll find it here" Tobi said pulling out the school blue prints pointing at the art room which was circled in red.

He'd planed this from the beginning that jerk.

"but be careful" Tobi said in a serious tone "Kurenai-sensei has it in a safe, here the combination" he said handing me a scrap of paper.

"and you can use Tobi's notes on how to break in because Tobi is a good boy" he chirped.

I sweat-dropped no good boy would break into the school or have the combination to a safe.

What had I gotten myself into.

And did he even have a puppy?

* * *

you like well I liked the last line and Pablo really exists well it's a joke between me and my friend like how he's gonna kill my Irish teacher (hope that bitch burns in hell) so please review I love you all.


	8. Ninja Anzu and Kisses

**A/N** yeah sorry for not updating on time well technicaly I did it'S only 11:59 so review an all that jazz.

* * *

I crept through dark corridors felling like a ninja.

I flattened myself against the wall and begin humming the mission impossible theme music and I bet half of you are thinking I'm a dork which is true but don't deny that you've never done it because everyone has or I'm delusional, probably the latter.

So as I was skilfully making my way towards the art room I began playing with the hem of my t-shirt and yes I did change into all black got a problem with that now I'm picking a fight with myself one of the main signs of insanity.

I think this school needs to notch up there security it was to easy to get in all I had to do was scale a fence that had a conveniently located ladder next to it and the doors were open so it was a piece of cake mmm cake, stop getting distracted focus.

I just realised I had been standing outside the art room door for about five minutes thinking about cake oops.

I was feeling dramatic as I flung open the doors and strutted to the safe.

I flipped my hair like all the spy girls do when opening a safe's.

I then twisted the dial to the numbers accordingly.

Random thought if anyone seen me do this I'd die of embarrassment.

I heard a strange gurgling/hissing sound in the darkest corner of the room as the safe sprung open I reached in and hugged the picture to my chest.

The noise turned to full blow laughter as the flashing of a camera went off repeatedly while I stood there dazed in front of the open safe.

And true to the theme of drama out from the shadows came Deidera holding a camera and a phone.

"Deidera" I said in disbelief.

"Oh my god un" he gasped doubling over in laughter.

"You should have seen your face and what was with the prancing around oh, oh god un" and he burst into hysterical laughter again.

Trying to retain what little pride I had left I straightened my back put my nose in the air and without a word I stormed out.

Hiding my face behind a curtain of hair I made my way down the corridor once again.

I wasn't going to cry, I wasn't going to cry resist the urge to cry, must find chocolate or cake.

This is nothing a popular guy just seen me break into a safe and do some really embarrassing stuff no big deal oh and he took pictures to most definitely black mail me with no big whoop, great now I wanted to cry again.

I felt tears prickle at my eyes Tobi set me up I though he was my friend the whole Akatsuki probably did this and that meant Kisame to, the name Judas really suit him now.

"WAIT UN" I heard someone yell behind me wonder who it is (if you didn't hear the sarcasm then your beyond any help I can offer or anyone else for that matter)

Crap the tears began to over flow.

It's been years since I let someone see me cry and I wasn't about to start now.

I kicked myself into gear and began to run like the devil was chasing me he was probably looking for advice again.

"WAIT UN" he yelled again he sounded a lot closer than expected.

I pushed myself to a sprint attempting to lose him, wait how did no one hear us.

I was almost at the doors but someone tackled me to the ground.

I looked up to see Deidera's sparkling blue eyes.

Tears were still leaking out of the corners of my eyes I tried to wipe them away but he had my hand pinned.

I began struggling underneath him.

"wait goddamn it listen to me un" Deidera breathed.

I kicked him off and stood up.

"what" I whimpered hating how pathetic my voice sounded as I wiped away stray tears with my hoodie.

He stood up and walked towards me putting a hand on my shoulder.

Looking deep into my eyes he said "making you cry is the last thing I would want to do, you're much prettier when you smile un" he said twirling a lock of my hair between his fingers.

A blush coloured our cheeks.

He removed his hand from my shoulder and placed it on the wall behind me.

I felt kinda caged but not in a bad way.

His face inched closer to mine and our eyes fluttered shut.

DEIDERA WAS GOING TO KISS ME OMJ MY FIRST KISS WAS INCHES AWAY!

I really wanted to kiss him.

Since when had I wanted to kiss him oh yeah about five seconds ago when he gave me that really cute speech?

Hey I was angry at him.

Jerk trying to distract me with cute speeches and kissing' he's and evil mastermind I tell ya.

Our lips brushed only one inch to go and I wasn't angry anymore my anger just evaporated poof gone and it ain't coming back due to serious not giving a shit.

Deidera pressed his lips to mine the exact moment the door opened.

"Deidera hurry up it can't be that hard to take a picture and you know I hate wait-"he was cut off by the scene in front of him and he was the only person I didn't want to see this.

"Sasori" Deidera yelped jumping away from me as if I burned.

Sasori looked at us chestnut eyes wide and for some strange reason I felt like I betrayed him by liking and kissing Deidera.

Sasori turned on his heel once the scene in front of him had sunk in, and walked out the crimson chipped doors pushing them open with a bang.

We both flinched at the sound.

Sasori made a motion for us to follow.

Why was he mad was it because Deidera was fooling around on the job or because he hated waiting.

We followed hanging our heads like two guilty kids caught with our hands in the cookie jar.

As we shuffled into the parking lot we were consumed by an awkward silence.

I **HATE **awkward silences.

I really can't stand them they really suck.

Sasori turned to me "you have a ride home" he said.

I shook my head.

"you want one" he muttered.

"Sure" I piped failing to lighten the mood with my Christmas cheer.

"goddamn Grinch" I grumbled.

"what was that" Sasori asked.

"nothing' " I said in a childish voice that implied I said something.

"Whatever" Sasori said suppressing a smirk clearly having heard me.

"yeah 'whatever' is right you green mow fo " I laughed.

And he gave a short laugh noticing my effort to break the accursed silence.

Sasori rummaged in his pocket and fished out a pair of keys.

He click the button and unlocked the sleek black Ferrari at the back.

At that moment I feeling love.

I skipped towards it in a field of imaginary flowers.

I plastered myself to the bonnet.

"I love you too" I chirped to it.

"you know it's a car right un" Deidera snorted.

"shush it's ok" I comforted covering its invisible ears.

"don't say things like that it's not 'just' a car it's a fine piece of well designed machinery" I huffed.

"never would of thought you were a petrol head" Sasori remarked.

"don't judge a book by it's cover" I chided.

"oh and Deidera" I said.

"what un" he replied.

"I CALL SHOTGUN" I screamed.

"aww no fair un" he whined.

"yeah well life's not fair deal with it" I informed him as we got in the car and made our way home via Sasori the taxi driver.

* * *

my my Anzu is so dense I mean cop on.

And what of the kiss why did they pretend it didn't happen and will Anzu join the Akatsuki tune in next time on High School The Akatsuki Way to find out and REVIEW.


	9. Liberation and Laying Claim

Gomen readers I did tell you about my exam and I was really sick wanna hear the funny part I was delosional and my friend Lauren called and I thought I could walk through walls I was so dissapointed when I couldn't though i hope you like this chapter mainly filler so sorry again and I was wondering I know i said Ai was my last oc but someone asked to be in it and I couldn't say no also when is it to early to beg for fanart cause i'm dieing for some i know I'm not very inspirational but please as a fellow artist please gimme fanart.

My spell check is on the frits so bear with me.

* * *

Alright yawl (I feel like Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana or who ever the hell she is) lets have a little re-cap are you ready cause here we go.

So a few weeks into the school year and I have made a heluva lot a friends and even more enemies ya fun, right…. Well yeah it's been awesome (show of hands how many people thought I'd say wrong).

And the whole "kiss" thing totally forgotten it was a… well I don't know what it was but it's in the past, as Timone and Pumba say akuna matata (no worries).

Great now I'm singing the theme tune and I can't get it out of my head.

Wednesday morning and I am walking out my door wearing what I usually wear blue jeans, my red converse and my T-shirt that says "save trees wipe your ass with an owl" I heart that shirt its my favourite philosophy apart from the rule I live by 'burn it' 'got a test burn it', 'hate your teacher burn it', 'simples no' *said in compare the mearkat voice*.

I had my book bag casually flung over my shoulder and was munching on a pink lady (no not an actual lady a red apple for all you simpletons out there).

I get to the pavement and just as I get there, a certain black Ferrari zooms up to the curb and squeals to a stop.

The doors swings open and there is Sasori in all his morning glory.

"Get in" he motioned.

"So you're abducting me?" I questioned.

"If you want to put a label on it yes I am" he replied in an amused tone his chestnut eyes twinkling with unexpressed laughter.

"Do you have candy?" I asked.

"Yeah" he said opening the glove compartment to reveal boxes of pocky.

I looked at the boxes longingly and answered, "Alright I'm game but I ain't sharing".

"I never expected you to" he chuckled.

I slammed the door with my foot and climbed over the seats desperately reaching for the sweets pouting like a five year old.

I slipped and my mid-section landed with an ooaaff on Sasori's super comfy lap.

I then sat back in my seat and happily started munching on my kidnappers snack.

"So do you feel like a pedo yet cause you just bribed me to get into your car with candy" I said with a mouthful of pocky so it came out like this "sow fweew wike ew fido wet mausew ew gust bwribed mew tow gwet ifow youw caw wiv candwie".

"Sorry I don't speak cookie monster" he replied his foot slamming on the gas.

"Aaaaaahhhhhhh" I screamed clutching at the dash bored for dear life, oh didn't I mention Sasori drives like a psychopath hence the pocky bribes, which had become a morning ritual that is paving the path to my future obesity.

Sasori is my self-proclaimed driver he just showed up one day outside my house and offered me a ride to school, it was raining so I said yes plus I am in love with his car, I named it Seth, hot name right well I love it so stick that in your juice box and suck it biactch.

We arrived outside of the school and I hoped out of the car and flung myself on the ground and cried "sweet sweet land how I have missed thee," I cried in yey old script.

I then began rolling around on the ground laughing like a fool as I do every morning that Sasori drives me to school.

"Land" I said in between giggles.

Sasori lock his car and grabbed me by the collar of my jacket that I liberated from Hidan and proceeded to drag me through the school gates.

When I start screaming 'I've been kidnapped' and 'he kidnapped me' he let go of my collar and pulled me off the ground.

"Stop being such a child" he hissed snatching my hand and leading me to school.

I received many venomous glares from fan girls whom I maturely stuck my tongue out at.

He jerked my wrist snapping my attention back to him "can you not space out" he quipped.

Looks like he doesn't like being ignored either.

"Moody is Deidera giving you romantic trouble" I said waggling my finger in front of his face.

He turned away and mumbled something like 'you have no idea' I choose to ignore that it was probably my inner yaoi fan girl crying for attention again.

Sasori laced his fingers with mine and I felt my face heat up.

He brought me to the Akatsuki lockers were the whole gang was waiting

"hey that my jacket, you stole it" Hidan exclaimed pointing an accusing finger at me.

"no Hidan I liberated it, you wore a green jacket with a yellow top by the laws of the fashion police I can confiscate it" I quoted my best friend from my old town he was such a dork but he was my dork.

"what?" he asked shaking his head in confusion?

I opened my mouth to repeat it but he cut me off "no! I don't want to know," he yelled covering his ears.

"ppphhhttt baby" I snorted.

Pein suddenly appeared out of nowhere (I bet him and Raya have private lessons on how to scare the sh*t out of people).

He placed a hand on my shoulder.

I turned my head towards him "whad up P my main man" I joked trying to do that rapper bump fist/hug thing (don't try doing it with someone who dose not co-operate is not advisable don't do this stuff at home kids)

But all I did was lightly punch him in the chest and hug him which he wasn't to happy about.

But try doing that with Sasori and his iron grip so it ended up us all falling on the floor (don't ask me how).

With me in sandwiched between Pein who was under me and Sasori who was above I was ok until that fucking asshole Hidan yelled "dog pile".

No not again why, why me what did I ever do to you apart from liberate your jacket why?

In class well home room don't know if you can call it class with Kaskashi not present or present for that matter.

Suddenly three pairs of hands slammed down on my table effectively snapped me out of my day dream in which I married Iggy and Fang (I just can't choose iggy is a pyromaniac and fang is well fang!) aahhh that's my heaven and lets pray Angel ain't in it (you won't get the joke if you haven't read maximum ride).

I looked up and immediately regretted it because I seen three faces ok I'm going to hate admitting this but they were pretty god that tasted like vinegar coming out of my mouth.

Ino and her slutty posse stood above me I say slutty because of how she and her posse dresses I swear I could do a fan dance with a lettuce leaf and cover more skin than them.

I narrowed my eyes and gave them my best icy glare one of the girls actually took a step back ha I'm better than I thought.

Ino just sneered.

"I just came to let you know that the Akatsuki" she said the name longingly "is way out of your league so stop throwing yourself at them its sad because Deidera is MINE" she spat emphasising the 'mine' part.

"ah" I murmured in understanding.

"your jealous" I said.

"why would I be jealous of you of all people you the stupid dorky freshman" she snarled.

"I am not stupid I am an honors student with straight A's the only subject I suck at is home ec, and I never denied being a dork in fact I embrace it and by the way" I stood up and glared at her and gabbed my words into her shoulder "you. Don't. own. Anyone." I said with a feral growl that I save for special occasions.

"w-w-whatever" they managed weakly and half ran half walked away.

"this isn't over" Ino called.

I know and I'm looking forward to it.

* * *

Sorry guys do you hate me cause I would hate me by now I suck *hides in emo corner*

"sorry guys she's a little emotional at the moment so please review" sasori-baka.

"i know your upset but sasori-baka i thought you had more class" sasori-teme

"thats were you made your first mistake" me.

*continued fighting"

"sorry un once the go at it they really go at it so review and all that jazz un" deidera.


	10. Sasori's Resolve and Sasuke's Girl

Yeah its me and I have my last oc's (for real this time) debut in this chapter but were going to see a lot more of her in the next few chapters as well as Itachi's and Ai's soon to be romance.

I hope you like it.

* * *

"Do you want a ride home?" Sasori asked.

"Naw I think I wanna walk you know good for the lungs and all that jazz" I answered, truth is I needed to blow off some steam and nothing works better than utter exhaustion. Don't go thinking I'm unfit because I planned to go for a run in the park on my way and when I say run I mean full speed laps around it.

So meh *sticks out tongue* take that.

I am so mature it astounds even me.

I seen Deidera walking our way I had been avoiding him at all costs.

I started to walk away "ANZU" he called; I flinched and turned around hesitantly to see him running full speed towards me, which by the way is super scary looking.

I panicked and ran behind a dumpster where there was a girl currently hiding she was tanned, petit had light brown hair and hazelnut mischievous eyes.

I jumped in next to her "hiding from a boy" she asked in a playful tone.

Nodding I asked "and you?" "Same" I nodded again in understand with a mental 'I hear that sista'

"Yuna Rosa I swear if you don't come out right now I'll castrate teme!" Naruto yelled.

"NO I NEED THOSE," she yelled jumping out from behind dumpster landing at his feet.

"Went were you going to tell me my own cousin was going out with my best friend," he chided shaking his finger at her, which gave me the mental image of him as a housewife in a frilly apron scolding her daughter for coming home late.

I can smell that pie coming out of the oven well housewives make pies in their free time sometimes right.

I dazed out pie uummm.

Anybody seeing a pattern here a worrying pattern (in chapter 8 I daydreamed about cake for 15 minutes).

"Anzu were you apart of this to" Naruto asked sounding like a pissed off momma bear.

"No ma'm" I saluted standing up.

I turned to Yuna "so you with duck-butt" I asked.

"Yeah" she answered narrowing her eyes at me suspiciously (with reason I could be a fan girl)

I put a hand on her shoulder and looked her in the eyes "you poor, poor soul I feel your pain I do" I said putting my hand to my heart (black void).

Her eyes softened I gave her a huge grin.

"Oh oh" I said flapping my hands in the air and jumping up and down.

"you can be the mom and Sas-GAY can be the dad and I can be the child and Hidan can be the inappropriate uncle, wait I guess I can't call him Sas-GAY any more unless your not telling me something Yuna Rosa if that's even your real name!" I yelled arching an eyebrow and puffing my imaginary Sherlock pipe.

"I'm a girl" she answered an anime vein pulsing in her forehead.

I opened my mouth to reply but I was cut off with an "ANZU" I flinched and looked for a place to hide.

A hand gripped my shoulder "STALKER" I shouted in surprise.

"Get away from her" Yuna-san shouted and boxed him in the face.

"Deidera" I called gently, nudging him with my foot.

"Uh Anzu" he groaned holding his face.

I kneeled down to his level "yeah" I responded.

"We need to talk," he said.

"Sure" I nodded meekly I am not good with talking seriously if you have not guessed.

He led me away.

I turned and waved back to Yuna and Naruto.

"Anzu" Deidera said gently.

*glances at watch* "oh snap, crackle and pop I'm late can we walk and talk" I rushed hopping from one foot to another.

"No its ok I'll tell you later, you want a ride" he asked.

"YES CAUSE I'M LATE" I shouted flailing my hands in the air.

He laughed that jerk.

"Jerk laughing at my pain" I mumbled scuffing my shoe off the ground.

He laughed louder that ass.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys.

(Why must everyone have a car but me T_T?)

I searched for his car I looked up at him "where is your car?" I asked cocking my head to the side.

He chuckled "when did I ever say I had a car?" he answered arching a golden eyebrow.

He walked over to a _motorbike _a freakin' _motorbike_.

I backed away as he beckoned me towards him.

I rubbed the back of my neck and gave him a nervous grin.

"You know what does it really matter if I'm late," I said trying to sound nonchalant but coming off as nervous.

"Don't tell me your afraid," he taunted.

He looked me in the eyes "I. dare. You" he said holding up a spare helmet.

I looked at him "FINE" I yelled in exasperation, snatching the helmet from him cause you know safety first.

I jumped on behind him and put my helmet on.

He revved the engine thing I screamed and grabbed Deidera who was laughing hysterically he did a wheelie out of the car park that cruel bastard.

"I hate you," I snarled.

He looked back at me "I love you too," he said with a laugh.

Ok Kodak moment here people.

Me trying to pull Deidera's hair and pull my helmet off at the same time going at 80km per hour, Deidera laughing his ass of me freaking out because I think we're going crash or get pulled over by the cops.

Ah, I think we have next years Christmas card.

Eventually I got tired of freaking out and just held onto his middle and rested my head against his back and watched the world whiz by.

I started to see familiar surroundings and lifted my head "we're here" I cheered.

He stopped in front of my house and I threw myself in a heap onto the ground "land!" I cried.

"Drama queen" Deidera muttered.

"What was that, and don't get me started you and Sasori are crazy when it comes to modes of transport" I screamed pointing an accusing finger at him.

"Modes of transport? Don't try to sound smart when you're not" he quipped.

"JERK" I roared and stormed into my house I totally forgot about being late.

* * *

Sasori's P.O.V 13 Minutes Earlier

* * *

On my way home I stopped at a store to buy some pocky, yeah judge me all you want I don't care.

I got in my car and just as I finished loading it into the glove compartment I seen something whiz past my line of vision but I had enough time to recognize who was on the motorbike.

My hands tightened on the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles turned white.

I am not going to lose to you Deidera, even if it means we are rivals.

* * *

Don don so what do you think sorry I had my art exam, religion and C.S.P.E on I know I didn't have to study but my science and Irish are on Monday and I'm panicking so its not as high quality as my usual crap, I read back over some of my stuff and I have a question, why the hell do you bother reading my stories.

Yeah review not that it matters at this point I'm going to FAIL and spiral into deep depression so pray for me people cause I'm going to need it.


	11. Halloween and Revenge

I am so sorry for not updating but my friend is in hospital and my grandad collapsed it's been hell, so freakin' suckish that pretty sums up my life right now but anyway i'm so sorry i understand if you hate me and the chapter isn't even amazingly long just my usual.

but for those of you who don't hate me i just want to say that 'babygirl1998' has been so cool and helpful about this so round of applause please and her story 'Demon Night' is so cool go reads it plweas it's also her first story bless her little cotton socks so be nice or deal with an angry momma bear.

* * *

I walked down the school corridors, which were decorated with black and orange Halloween decorations.

I love Halloween, I mean you get to demand sweets or egg peoples houses, dress like the freak we all know we are inside and watch scary

movies.

Well not to brag but I am pretty much a movie buff.

I do not scare easily but I have one BIG weakness, I am petrified of zombies any other kind of movie fine sure no problemo.

I laughed my way through every Saw movie seriously I was removed from the theatre, good times.

But zombie movies even the funny ones scare the shit out of me.

So I still don't know what I want to be for Halloween, I mean I want a

change because every year for the last 14 years I have been a werewolf.

But I think this year I want to be something more … elegant, I don't know I'll just ask Raya she's bound to come up with something awesome and crazy most likely crazy, on second thought definitely crazy.

I fumbled and finally managed to get my locker open, I shoved my books in and slammed the locker quickly so they would not fall out.

Do you know in movies when people close their lockers and someone is leaning right behind it and they look so cool, let me tell you something

Its. Not. Cool.

"Speak of the devil" I yelped when I seen Raya's face behind the door of my locker.

I put my hand over my heart "do get some sick satisfaction out of scaring me," I asked.

"Yes, yes I do and don't talk about Lucifer me and him go way back" she replied with a shake of her head and a creepy smile.

"Figures" I said with a role of my eyes as I swung my backpack over my shoulder only Raya would be buddies with the Devil.

"You going to the Halloween dance" she asked.

"No, I mean is someone with left feet even allowed into a dance" I inquired putting an emphasis on the dance.

"Don't let that stop you" she exclaimed striking her nice Guy pose (get it, nice Guy pose ha, ha I kill myself)

"No I just hate noise and alcohol it's a migraine not a party," I said wrinkling my nose in distaste.

"I hear that" she answered.

"So' she started in your typical airhead accent "are you like totally coming to my party or what" I backed away and shoot her a fearful glance.

"Never. Do. That. Again." I whimpered, sometimes she's to convincing.

She chuckled and answered "totally" that bitch trying to scare me evil I tell you pure EVIL.

That's Raya for you.

"No I think I'll pass," I answered with a smile.

She copied my expression and said, "You really don't have a choice".

"Ah well when you put it that way, sure I'd love to!" I replied with fake enthusiasm.

"Well I gotta go to class," I said and begun walking away, but Raya gripped my arm and spun me around to face her "wait" she bleated."

"What" I asked in a rather harsh tone, what! Don't look at me like that its still early!

"Be careful after school today I heard the gay brigade (aka Ino and her army of skanks!) Say something about making someone pay today after school and I think its you," she cautioned with a serious look in her eyes.

"Thanks I'll be careful" I reassured her.

"but just in case' then she did something only she could get away with she whipped out a freaking _switch blade the length of my arm_.

Ok maybe I exaggerated it a little bit (*randomer in the back* 'a little bit you screamed for _ten minutes') _hey shut your yap (*smoothers randomer with pillow*) sorry about that *sweat drop*.

"Here have this," she said pushing the cool handle into my palm after my little episode was done.

"I don't need or want this" I replied shoving it back at her.

she slipped it in my pocket and said "please it'll give me peace of mind" she begged.

"fine but all I'm going to use it for is destroying my stuff when I'm bored." I accepted with a shrug.

She smiled at me it was a patient motherly smile that I never thought I would see on Raya.

"PUPPET SEX" she screamed at a student randomly who needless to say was mentally scared for the rest of his life.

"aw I missed you" I chirped and wrapped her in one of my rare and notorious bear hugs.

We parted ways and headed to our classes.

The bell sounded and I skipped out of class and headed to my locker to put my books back before I headed home.

* * *

_**After **_**_Class_**

I dumped my book in my locker and took out my dog eared copy of 'To Kill A Mocking Bird' and flipped to Atticus's speech about courage.

I walked alone down the semi-busy hallways reading through my favourite parts. I heard a noise like someone throwing something against a dumpster and they we're planning on leaving one big

ass dint by the sounds of it. Now as you all no I am not normal per se so a normal person would have ignored this and walked by, no but of course being a malignant little fiend had to go check it

out my excuse being 'that's dumpster abuse' full proof in my opinion I'm like Hermionie (sp) but instead of house elves its dumpsters and I don't secretly love Ron but hey if I did he would so be

mine wait how did I get from dumpsters to Ron Weasely sometimes I piss myself off ha, ha you have to deal with me all the time suckers.

So anyways I went out back and felt my blood run cold I heard a dull thump as I watched Ino deal a sharp kick to Ai who was curled up in a ball she whimpered and they laughed, they _laughed_? All I

could see was red and before I could register my actions I was behind Ino with a fist full of her blond hair I brought her face down on my knee _hard, _I let a crazed grin slide onto my face when I felt

something crunch against my leg assuming it was her nose and still trying to rip the hair from her skull I kicked her in the stomach once, sob twice, begging three times, screams I let her go and

slammed my fist into her messed up face the grin only got bigger and more bloodthirsty. I threw her on the ground and looked up at her pose they had their hands covering their mouths, frozen eye wide in horror.

I gave them a sly grin "so this disturbs you but that' I motioned to Ai "dose not you make me sick now get lost" I finished dropping the grin and glaring they scampered over and helped Ino limp away.

I turned to Ai and looked at her seeing what they done made me want to run after them carve them up with Raya's present so not even daddies money could fix it.

I took out my phone and called 911.

I bent down "Ai honey it's ok your safe now" I whispered.

"I knew you'd come" she rasped weakly one of her eyes was swollen shut.

I put her head in my lap and said "it's gonna be ok" I said it more to me than her.

Those bitches were going to pay.


	12. Hostpitals and 'Dirt Water'

Hi guys so yeah you all have to vote on your favourite pairing and do you want Sakura to find anybody maybe Gaara? I don't know originally i was going for SasukeXSakura but I can't do that now so any suggestions review kay.

* * *

I sat at the side of the hospital bed waiting for her to wake up and for everyone to arrive.

Ai's parents were away on business and her sister had just visited her.

The door creaked open and my eyes only left eyes her sleeping figure to occasionally check the beeping machines for changes, the doctors said she just needed sleep and she prescribed me some to which I blatantly rejected.

"Hello" I said when the door closed softly.

"Who did this to her" Itachi asked clearly pissed.

"Ino and her posse" I answered in a dead tone.

Funnily enough, he was the first person I thought to call.

Next to arrive was Deidera and Sasori if I had been in a better mood and not in psycho killer crazy mode I'd say would make a crack at them being together, but as it so happens I was in psycho killer crazy mode and was also lacking sleep.

Geez what time is it huh only 9:00pm that's weird feels like 3:00 am to me.

"What happened are you all right un?" Deidera asked concerned again, I would have teased him for being concerned.

when I mumbled "m'fine" he started to panic.

"not your not" his voice rose an octave.

I turned to glare at him "I called you because I need to talk to the _Akatsuki _not you and if you haven't notice my best friend is in the hospital bed" I spat.

The atmosphere in the room just got worse, shocker there.

The rest of the Akatsuki arrived and Raya who look as pissed off as I felt.

"Pain we have business to discuss" I told him.

"what is it?" he asked he had been tiptoeing around me since the photo incident as if he had been waiting for something.

"I want to join the Akatsuki"

He smirked at me "I guessed you would but…"

"don't 'but' me I'm joining one way or the other" I huffed crossing my arm.

His smirk grew "well it's not like I can stop you" he shrugged, why is he acting like this I thought I'd have to do something ridiculous to convince him to let me in but it was easy _to easy_, so easy it was suspicious and the rest of the Akatsuki had smug looks apart from Itachi who was staring at Ai, typical.

Wait until Ai wakes up to her prince charming, I need my camera.

"go on Itachi kiss her awake" I goaded with a wink.

He went crimson and I laughed it felt like I hadn't laughed in ages.

It felt nice.

I stood up just as Naruto his cousin and Rock Lee came bursting in.

"what's going on is Ai ok," Naruto screamed in unison with Lee except I could have sworn I heard the word youthful however, that fits in there.

I kinda broke and glomped Naruto and cried my heart out.

There goes my self-control.

When I was done, I sniffed and wiped my eyes on his bright orange T-shirt.

He looked terrified and his shirt was soaked.

"cry on Naruto, best therapy ever," I announced with a smile cause that's the kind of person I am I cry and cry and cry (usually never in front of people or if I get hurt physically, pain just doesn't bother me that much) and it's all better in 5 minutes.

"I give it 7/10 and I suggest you buy more absorbent shirts Naruto"

"why only seven?"

I gave him a coy look "because Naruto-kun you didn't hold me," I said fluttering my eyelashes.

He blushed "aahhhaaahh" I laughed, "your to easy Naruto seriously if that all it takes to make you blush then"

"you really don't want to finish that sentence" Raya remarked leaning back in the hospital armchair that I had been previously occupying.

"yeah your right" I gave a short laugh.

"Anzu what happened" Naruto asked.

I hesitated and Itachi answered for me that boy was raking up brownie points with me fast.

Damn, I might I have to start being nice to him after this.

"Ino and I quote 'posse' beat her up and Anzu it seems attacked Ino and left her with a broken nose multiple bruises one fracture rib and mental scaring" he said this all with a smile tugging at his mouth and sent me an approving look.

"Jesus what the hell are you," Kisame asked.

"well didn't you know?" Pain said.

I sent him a pleading look.

"she's a black belt and has won the under 18 national champion ship for taekwondo 8 times in a row as well as being skilled in kendo" I was blushing cause everyone was looking at me like I was God.

Ai's eyes fluttered open "why's everyone in my room?" she asked in a sleepy daze.

"_because captain_ you got your ass handed to you by the skanks of our school," I snarled, ok I am a bitch when I worry.

"now get to sleep," I snapped.

She laughed, "I didn't mean to worry you so much and thank you for saving me"

"Oh youthful Ai my love whoever did this to you was most unyouthful" Lee said leaning by her bedside and cupping her hands in his.

Itachi glared somebodies jealous.

I was sulking in the corner but threw in comments about Itachi trying to kiss her awake and writing morbid emo poetry about his true love this of course got Raya to slap me over the head via Ai's command.

That my friend is what I cowardice but her being an invalid and all I think I'll let it slid, this time.

"I am going to get some coffee" Sasori stated getting up to leave.

"I'll come to I didn't just stand up to let Raya steal my seat." I said.

"hey move your feet you lose your seat" was her reply.

We walked out of the room and down the hallway to the coffee machine.

I put some money in and made my coffee.

I took a tentative sip.

"how is it?"

"It tastes like dirt and water 'I took another sip' "but strangely addictive"

He laughed, I like his laugh it manly but not to manly.

"hey what's with the serious with the serious face?"

"I was just thinking about you manly laugh" I said 'manly laugh' in a fake deep voice.

He laughed again and so did I.

We we're laughing and drinking our 'dirt water'.

He turned to me just before we got to the door "hey Anzu" all traces of joking left his tone.

"yeah" I said.

"Do you want to go to the movie with me on Saturday?"

"is this a date?"

"do you want it to be?"

"I don't know but I'd be pretty disappointed if it wasn't"

"well I wouldn't want to disappoint you" he said with a smile and pushed the door open.

Everyone was looking at us with huge suspicious smiles on there faces apart from the exception sour puss Deidera, Itachi, and Pain.

Ai's smile got bigger "this hospital has really thin doors".

I blushed a vivid red.

Sasori and I were flushed with embarrassment as we sat down as far away from another as possible.

"Is it a date" Raya imitated in a high pitch voice.

"do you want it to be?" she said in a deeper voice.

I sunk deeper into the couch hiding my shame.

"you to are just two cute" Yuna remarked.

"duck butt love~" I sang.

"that's different at least we don't skulk around like two horny teenagers"

"hate to break it to ya darlin' but they are horny teenagers" Hidan said.

"whoa Hidan" I remarked.

"what?"

"you're an even bigger idiot than I thought"

"at least I don't give Sasori cow eyes"

"you better not give Sasori cow eyes"

"or what"

"dude did you just say or what about checking out Sasori I didn't know you batted for the other team" I quipped.

"I don't keep your Sasori"

"he's not mine" I screamed in a shrill voice.

The nurse knocked on the door "visiting hours are over and she need some rest" her face was pinched like she had sucked a lemon but she had a soft voice.

Her wispy grey hair feel out of her bun indicating she had been working for a long time or couldn't do her own hair.

"one more minute" I begged.

"one" she said and closed the door.

Kisame turned to me "how do you do that?"

"what?"

"Bend people to your will"

"oh its all in the blue eyes"

"Damn"

"why you want to charm elderly nurses to" I joked.

"ew"

I got on my hands and knees and crawled under the bed.

"what are you doing?" Deidera asked me in an irked tone.

"hospitals are scary at night I'm staying now leave please before she comes back"

They all began to shuffle out when the nurse arrived "oh where's that little one with the blue eyes" she asked.

I was fuming under the bed 'little' what was that meant to mean.

She walked into the room and I assumed she walked out when I felt two small but **strong **hands wrap around my ankles and haul me out from under the bed.

"let go you crazy old bag lady!" I screamed as she dragged me from the premises.

Good thing they couldn't ban me from the hospital… I think

* * *

Review plwese i begs you


	13. The Joys Of Shopping

I propped my head up and stirred my lukewarm coffee waiting for inspiration.

Wait coffee, that is it I will dress as a cup of coffee!

Don't judge me it sounded better in my subconscious.

I looked around the small cosy café with its wooden panelled walls and cute throw pillows it was like the ideal cabin.

I downed my coffee in one swing and went up to buy something to placate my nerves.

I reached the counter and let my eyes find the cake section.

I pressed my face up against the glass my breath fogged up the glass and crept up it like ice.

_Um cake._

I couldn't decide what cake to get so I bought a slice of all of them, godamn I love cake.

I sat back down and scooped up a forkful of cake into my waiting mouth.

I swallowed it in bliss.

"Ah" I sighed in contentment.

Only when I had demolished my supply, of cake did I notice a boy who was in my class sitting across from me, his form was rigid and uncomfortable his body language swayed away from me and was on guard.

"I don't bite, well not unless you're covered in icing," I teased with a good-natured laugh.

"I can see" was his reply, I pouted he wasn't a talker eh well you picked the wrong place to sit buddy.

"why are you wearing sun glasses inside, and why are you wearing such a big coat, not that it's not a nice coat it's a lovely coat it's a great coat, in fact can I have it?" now try saying that all in one breath as fast as you can, and you get an irritated bystander.

Chalk another one up on the mental blackboard for Anzu.

I cocked my head to the side "what's your name?" I asked.

"Shino" he answered in his monotonous voice.

"Cool," I said with a bob of my head then an idea hit me,

"Hey Shino do you have any ideas about what I could be for Halloween. Not a werewolf cause I've been one for the last ten years oh and a zombie cause they freak me out." I explained spreading my palms out in the help me out here motion.

"You could be a butterfly," he answered.

"whoa five words we have record here people" I called around the busy café cupping my hand around my mouth they all gave me funny looks, as if I wasn't used to that by now!

Shino glared at me it was pretty scary but as I do with most things I laughed it off.

"Whoa hold your horses and put that glare away you might seriously hurt someone with that thing" I exclaimed holding up my hands.

"But I really like the butterfly idea it's really … original" I paraphrased.

He looked desperate to get away, don't ask me how I knew since I could barely see his face, but come on who wouldn't want to get away from me?

Well I guess I should put the smuck out of his misery and Ai is getting out of the hospital today and I gotta have some kinda celebration nothing to exhilarating and I have to go shopping I have no nice clothes and all my nice clothes don't fit.

I got taller, I am no longer the smallest well I am but everyone else is just freakishly taller.

So I stood up and pushed in my chair "Later Shino I got important stuff to do"

He had this look of utter relief on his face I could not help but be offended.

I even considered going back to annoy him, but no I had to shop, my favourite thing to do walk around for hours hold bags that will cut your hands and taking off your clothes only to put the back on again yay!

Yeah I'm lazy in my opinion you only take off your clothes unless you need to get changed or going to bed (I love Pj's) but you have to keep the clothes you just changed into ON for at least 3 hours.

So by now I was out the door and had my jacked up phone in my hand and found myself dialling Yuna's number how I had I don't know but hey, I am a bundle of mysteries.

Well now that I thought of it, it was a great bonding experience and I needed someone to twist my arm to make me shop Raya and I would end up in a record store and I wouldn't get a chance to buy anything with Ai she would buy everything in sight and calling one of the guys bad idea.

I could call Konan, as well, I need to get to know her she has blue hair, nuff (aka enough) said.

I put the phone to my ear.

_Ring, ring, ring, ring._

"Hello?" Her voice she sounded out of breath.

She then laughed hysterically down the phone.

"Stop it Sasuke" she hissed her voice muffled by her hand, which I was guess, was meant to stop me from hearing her; she was never going to live this down if I had my way.

"Hello? Sorry about that" she said.7

"Stop it Sasuke" I called down the phone dramatically.

"Anzu? Oh god no" she whimpered.

"Oh god yes" I teased.

"Sasuke take me now, you wild stallion!" I joked mimicking her voice.

"It's not like that!" she yelled in desperation.

I laughed.

"Ok, ok I'm sorry and I'm raising my little white flag"

"You better be," she growled.

"Do you want to go shopping? You know as a peace offering"

"Um ok, when and where" she asked.

"Well they are opening a new shop in you know that place"

"With the thing" she said.

"And the fountain" I continued.

"Yeah I know it," she answered…

"Cool around there at about three sound good to you"

"Excellent"

"Bye" we chorused as I hung up.

I dialled Pein because I didn't have Konan's number.

He answered.

"Anzu why are you calling me?"

"Can I have Konan's number I mean being the only girl in the Akatsuki she must be starved of girl time, right?" I asked.

"She's tied up right now" he said.

"Pein you kinky bastard!" I called down the phone.

"Anzu" he said.

"Yes" I replied.

"Shut up" he said curtly.

"I'll take note of that" I replied.

"You better" and with that he hung up.

Oh, Pein your coldness wounds me.

I glanced at my sponge bob watch, two o'clock I had two hours to kill.

Random question that is of optimum importance at least to me so feel free to answer it, what comes to mind when you think of the term killing time for me I get a cartoon clock being beaten savagely with a baseball bat.

I'm so morbid sometimes that I make Gaara look like a nun.

That's a great mental image Gaara as a nun/panda oh that fights crime.

All the best things fight crime, like the power puff girls.

Now that's something that I would sell my soul to see, wait le gasp I don't have soul meh I'll just buy one on eBay.

Meanwhile I was on a conveniently located bench next to the fountain giggling like a teenage girl, uh wait that's not right.

Damn.

Can I go five minutes without embarrassing myself apparently not.

I looked up and seen Yuna standing over my giggling mess with a genuinely worried expression on her face "what _are_ you doing" she asked.

I looked up at her my expression pure guilt as if she could see Gaara the crime fighting nun/panda.

"nothin'" I mumbled.

"oh god help me" she muttered.

"hey at least your not stuck with Raya" I comforted.

"yeah that's true" she laughed.

* * *

**At The Uchiha Compound

* * *

**

"huh" Raya mewed.

"what?" Tobi asked.

"nothing I just got the sudden urge to maim Anzu and Yuna" she stated bluntly.

Tobi turned to her, she had pink dye in one hand and Itachi's herbal shampoo in the other hand.

"we can deal with them later but right now we have bigger fish to fry" he said in a giggly voice.

"right later"

And then the broke off into evil laughter, and Raya wonders why noone wants to go shopping with Raya (or Tobi).

* * *

**A/N **ok guys I deleted the chapter and had to write it all again so it turned out worse than before and my mom change the phone company without telling me so we had no internet until I got this password thing oh and the above prank goes to Dreaded Redhead Sand Ninja her story is fuckin' hil-larious.

REVIEW AND YOU GET GAARA THE CRIME FIGHTING NUN/PANDA!


	14. Authors PleaNote

**AUTHORS PLEA IMPORTANT READ IT ALL**

**Hey everyone who reads my stuff em we hit sixty reviews yay!**

**Thank you guys for reading as long as you have and don't worry I am not discontinuing this story or putting it on hold but I need a favour from you guys could you PLEASE read my best friends story it's called 'Witness Affection Program' and it's about two girls who have a run in with Orochimaru who is like a crime boss and they are relocated in japan and under the watchful eye of Itachi Uchiha it's going to be great and stuff and I will be forever indebted to you if you review her story her name is 'Itachi's Dark Princess' so if you do you can be Sasuke's girlfriend or someone else's if you want to be in my story but I'll be checking who reviewed XD.**


	15. Phone Calls and 'Take that George Bush'

**A/N thank you everyone who reviewed my friends story she's over the moon****. ****And 'TheOriginalGloryGirl' I know I only had 47 reviews but that authors note was meant for my other story but I when I realised my mistake I was to lazy to correct it but I would really like to get sixty reviews *hint* *hint* *nudge* *nudge* *wink* *wink* if you don't get my intentions after that I will eat you.**

**Yeah be afraid, be very afraid.**

**However, not to afraid so you don't review =3 (wildtiger777 I stole your thing sorry but it was awesome I had to steal it! ANZU MADE ME DO IT!)

* * *

**

I got some skirts and lots of jeans, I love my jeans, hoodies every colour of the rainbow plus a bunch of pretty tops.

I was satisfied it was a productive trip and with the amount I bought I wouldn't have to got for a long time but more importantly I got my Halloween costume and a little something, something for my *gulp* date.

Geez just saying it makes me afraid.

But if he doesn't like what I'm wearing, he can take a hike.

A long ass hike to the charming locating of gets-his-ass-kicked, I hear the scenery is awesome.

Gah, he is gonna call any freakin' second now. What am I going to do; I do my mom told me to make my voice deeper so I could sound 'sexy'. Honestly, I think it was sabotage so she could laugh at me and I really didn't want to give her another reason to she already has so many.

Damn my sucky life, damn his kind brown eyes and damn his sexy red hair damn him for being so awesome. That jerk.

The freakin' nerve.

I glanced at my telephone it was one of the ones where you could walk around the house with no cord and you could text off of it.

I love it, you see I think of my technology as living things and talk to them as such and they LISTEN no matter what anyone else says.

I remember when I got my laptop the family computer wouldn't work for my mother but when I apologized for not paying attention to it, it worked and I know it loves me.

_Briiiinnnggg _that snapped me back to reality.

I jumped about ten ft in the air and landed sprawling on the floor, I crawled desperately toward the phone.

"Hello?" I gasped down the phone I was short of breath from my vacation on the floor.

"Anzu?" it was Sasori, this made me happy.

"No, zis is de maale cesssort ser-vice, vat can ve do for youe?" (No, this is the male escort service, what can we do for you.) I said in a thick and rather good Russia accent if I may say so myself.

My moms head popped in the door "I have never felt closer to you honey" she called.

EW there's something I could have lived without knowing.

"Really then get me ten of your finest Mexicans" he ordered in a mock voice.

"Would you like whipped cream with that," I joked.

"Don't forget the handcuffs" he said.

We both laughed.

"Okay, okay" I giggled.

"So what's the plan" I finished.

"Well I was thinking traditional movie and dinner," he said.

"Yeah that sounds great but clothes wise…" I trailed off.

"Semi-formal"

"Example please" I prodded.

"Skirts, not to flashy or not to revealing dresses, skinny jeans nice top and high heels that kind of thing"

"You can get all the ideas of me wearing high heels out of your head right now," I commanded.

"Aw" he let out a fake childish sigh.

"Yeah life's no fair deal with it," I said.

"Ok so I'll pick you up at eight," he said with a smile in his voice.

"Too cliché how about half seven" I asked.

"Yeah that's fine, what do you want to see?" he questioned.

"Don't worry I won't drag you through some sappy chick flick, I'll do that on our second date" I informed him smiling vindictively at the idea of Sasori watching a chick flick.

"Second date?" he asked hopefully.

"Yeah if you don't screw it up so it's forty/sixty percent chance, here"

"So I have a sixty percent chance, right," he replied.

"…" there was a pregnant pause.

"I'll get you cake" he bribed.

"Consider us engaged" I yipped.

"You're so easily pleased it ridiculous" he scoffed.

"Ah yes I am a woman of simple needs, cake, books and sleep that is my paradise" I contemplated.

He chuckled.

"Were on a bit of tangent here," I reminded wistfully, fiddling with a lock of my long hair.

"Ah so we are, now what do you want to see"

I shook my head "don't ask me I'm indecisive"

"What movies do you like?"

"Old school martial arts, action films like crouching tiger hidden dragon, house of flying daggers that kind of thing"

"Uh… all they got is the karate kid"

"I'd rather die"

"It won't be that bad"

"Jackie Chan is in it," I stated.

"Point taken" he agreed

"How about um how about Predators"

"So much for indecisive"

"Shut yer yap your worse than I am"

"Okay so I'll see you tomorrow"

"Half seven don't be late"

"I'm always on time"

With a chorus of goodbyes, I hung up the phone and discovered I had a major case of the warm fuzzies.

This was not a good idea.

Not I was even more confuzzled than before, curses!

Well it would do no good worrying about it.

So I changed into I huge t-shirt that I 'liberated' from someone who shall not be not be named, and got into bed.

I snuggled up and encased myself in my quilts and eventually feel asleep.

Heh you all thought I'd have trouble sleeping, that never happens to me I always find time for my beauty sleep (I can believe I just said that).

* * *

**The Next Day

* * *

**

I woke up and rolled around in my bed in semi-consciousness for a while before a stray beam of sunlight that had pierced my deep purple curtains irritated me into getting up.

Shedding my temporary protective skin and clawed my way to the bathroom and half asleep I jumped into a cold shower, that woke me up I'll tell ya that much.

I exited the shower with dripping hair that was darkening the shoulders of my cellular blue t-shirt with water.

I grabbed my school bag and I rung out my hair before promptly dashing out the door with bagel stuffed in my mouth.

I was trying to be calm but those damn butterflies in my tummy wouldn't leave me alone.

And yes I just said tummy.

Take that George Bush!

Why did I say that?

God I'm weird.

But hey it felt good.

Enough of those frivolous sentimentality's.

I looked out my door and sure enough Sasori had just pulled up on the kerb right on time as per usual.

I quickly ran a brush through my hair a put some light mascara and clear lip gloss.

I bolted out the door not wanting to keep him waiting, he takes my candy when I make us late.

That makes me sad.

I don't like being sad.

Sasori's a meanie if you haven't already realised that.

A meanie who derives pleasure from my torture a meanie who'

He cut off my thoughts.

"why are you glaring at me like that" he asked cocking his head to the side, a habit he picked up from me.

"do I need a reason?" I huffed.

And thus began my Friday which was filled with awkward knowing smiles passed between me and Sasori and a walk through of ways to kill him if he got and I quote 'to frisky' which was told by Raya and assisted by Yuna.

There were diagrams.

I have great friends.

Nuff said.

* * *

** A/N So what do you think did i cross any lines i kinda think i did but i don't really care and i love you all so please review and click that litttle unloved review button he's an orphan with a sick puppy and clicking him will make him smile XD  
**


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